🌟🌟🌟AN IMMIGRANT’S STORY: HOW MUCH IS ENOUGH- TO BE HAPPY?
✨️As professionals and leaders, we take our work seriously, we are committed and dedicated. We immerse ourselves into becoming successful, either by making big profits or climbing the corporate ladder. We give lip service to work-life balance, for the optics, when truly we know our primary focus is work and a desire be in the winners’ circle, to achieve self actualization. But, when do we have enough, enough to be happy?
✨️Humans are an enigma. We always have that one goal that we must achieve, that one thing we must attain that will be the source of true success, joy or happiness. In conversation with an immigrant, I realized that the goal post to true fulfillment is really an illusion that appears to keep moving further and further away. Join me as I share an immigrant's story about finding happiness in Canada.
✨️My friend Jackie arrived in Canada with her husband and son one Christmas morning, filled with hope to find her dreams. After all, she was coming to a first world country where an educated, experienced professionals should find it easy to excel. She quickly realized that it was much harder than she had imagined, foreign was no bed of roses.
✨️Jackie is a hardworking, faithful and tenacious woman, so she puts her back to the wheel, to provide the best life for her family and to make something of herself. To find that illusive happiness that she believed wasn't in her native land. Soon, she was confronted with racial discrimination, which was strange to her. She knew it existed, but only in stories found in history books and movies, the actual experience was devastating. She tried to acclimatize herself to her new situation and the harsh weather, feeling like a second-class citizen. It was tough, but she decided to push through to find her happiness.
✨️Jackie started her journey in Canada as an international student, and quickly realized the magnitude of her decision. To get residency in Canada, she had to be successful at her studies, then, she had to find a job in her field of study. Finding that job became the one thing she needed to be happy. Once she secured her work permit and found a temporary role in her field, the race was now on to find a permanent position. The anxiety was overwhelming, it took some time, but she did.
✨️Soon after, her only desire was to become a Permanent Resident. Now, this is what was suppose to make her happy, truly happy! It was challenging as she soon realized that because she was older, with no family ties in Canada, it would be a significant hurdle, because she didn't qualify for any of the conventional pathways to permanent residency. She didn't give up. She explored many different avenues, tried some out-of-the-box thinking and one paid off. It was a stressful situation, but she got through it, just in the nick of time. It was a miracle; she and her family became permanent residents of Canada.
✨️That joy lasted a quick minute. Next, she needed a home! A place of her own, for her family. Owning a home for sure will make her happy, she thought! And so, the journey started. A pain-staking journey, but finally she got a house, not big, fancy house but one she could make onto a warm, comfortable oasis for her family.
✨️She was happy again, but not for long, she now decided to change jobs, but what she needed most was to become a Canadian citizen. It took some time, lots of studying and stress, but she did it, she and her family achieved Canadian citizenship 👏. She was elated, it was all coming together nicely, she was happy, her family was happy. But her joy was short-lived, this time to be happy, she needed to find a permanent job in close proximity to her new home.
✨️As Jackie embarked on her new goal of finding that permanent job to be happy, my question is, what will be her next big goal and when will Jackie achieve enough to truly experience prolonged joy in her life? To stop and smell the roses. To celebrate the many wins 🎊, to take stock of all her achievements and give herself a pat on the back 🏆 🙌 and most importantly to take a break from the heightened state of constant worry and stress.
✨️ In reviewing Jackie’s journey, as leaders we must understand that being hyper-focused, quickly moving from one goal to the next, leaves us with an abbreviated life. You will wonder, where did the time go, you will ask your children, when did you get so big? You will miss the wonderful moments that are right there to make you happy. The truth is, Jackie didn't need any of those things to make her happy. She had all she needed to be happy all along. She had the love of her beautiful family, the love of God and many other blessings to be grateful for; her health, strength, friends, and the ability to wake up everyday in faith that she will be okay.
✨️Simple, everyday things should make us happy, like taking time to share in your children's life, being present, watching them grow and doing silly things, enjoying their laughter. 😃 These are times and memories we'll never get back.
✨️While it’s human nature to have dreams and the desire to achieve more, we must understand that we do not need to sacrifice joy, we don’t need things to make us happy. Be a go getter, have drive and passion, but not at the expense of your happiness. Remember, good things come to those who wait. We need to find happiness in our lives in each moment. BE HAPPY, don't wait, we have all we need to be happy right now! Take your pick, we have life, love, health, strength, hope, faith, peace, family, friends and community. We need to be grateful for what we have and for who we are.
✨️We can also learn from others, to not end up in the same pitfalls. Imagine how many rich and famous people we know who are trying to escape their lives with drugs. It is obvious, money and material things cannot buy happiness. We must not focus too much on what we think our life is supposed look like, but rather celebrate what it actually is in the moment. Envision yourself living your best life, one day at a time! Eleanor Roosevelt aptly and elegantly states “Happiness is not a goal…it’s a by-product of a life well lived”.
✨️Find your joy in what you have and find peace in knowing you have enough.
Karen Gordon
🌟🌟🌟 LOOKS ARE DECEIVING!
✨️About twenty (20) years ago, I bought a second-hand vehicle. It was a green Honda Integra, that looked brand new, immaculate condition, stunning, gorgeous, very attractive on the outside. I took lots of pictures with my new car, I was elated. But I soon found out that all that glitters is not gold.
✨️On my way to work, just about three (3) days after purchasing the vehicle it started to slow down. I didn't know what to do, in the moment, my only concern was getting to work. By now, my car was creeping along under 20 km per hour, but I kept going. In the city’s early morning rush, I felt like a nuisance on the road. I was going so slow the other drivers were honking their horn, some cursed at me and others even flipped me off while overtaking.
✨️I was horrified, and embarrassed, but I had no choice. I didn't want to be stuck on the side of the road, nor did I want to be absent from work, so I kept moseying along. Eventually I got to work, all-be-it late. I was happy the beautiful hunk of junk got me there, but terrified that something was wrong with my new car. Soon after, I called my mechanic for help. In short, the diagnosis was that the engine was defective, and I needed to purchase a new engine. Needless to say, I couldn’t return the car or get help with the cost of the repairs because the method of purchase was an “AS IS” sale.
✨️Apart from the obvious, which is to be extra careful when buying used vehicles, my major takeaway from this event is never to be angry on the road. Particularly, exercising patience with others drivers, because I do not know what happening at the time. Likewise, I extrapolated and applied the lessons learned from this incident to my leadership strategy.
✨️As authentic leaders we understand that looks are deceiving. We must be genuinely concerned and attuned to our team, ensuring that workplace policies that are in the best interest of the organization does not negatively impact the well-being of our team. We must be ready to extend patience, kindness and understanding, knowing that everyone has their own journey.
✨️ “NEVER JUDGE A BOOK BY ITS COVER”! Even though on the exterior some team members may seem content, and smiling, we do not know what is happening behind the scenes (under the hood). As leaders, we have to let our team know that we are there to offer support when needed. Sometimes, team members may be acting out of character, and we are baffled by their attitude shift and wonder why, as with my car, their performance is slowing down. As leaders, we must to be vigilant to recognize when team members need our help. If a team member's behavior suddenly changes, it is an opportunity to offer support as best as possible, without appearing intrusive or prying.
Karen Gordon
🌟 🌟 🌟 I always tell my son to never give up, to try, try, and try again. In my mind the advice to never give up is an excellent one, because it teaches resiliency, strength and commitment; however, never giving up is not always the most appropriate action. Walking away may be your best option.
✨️At times we may need to walk away to not waste our time or it may be the best choice to love and protect ourselves. Being self-aware enough to discern when it’s best to apply our fight or flight mechanism is a life skill we should all develop.
✨️This skill is applicable in both our personal and professional life, and will serve us well in many difficult situations. In my experience, walking away from toxic people and situations to protect my peace of mind was the best decision I have made. The trick is to maintain a positive attitude and keep moving forward. Life is better on the other side.
What is your trick for dealing with toxic people/situations?
✨️As Kenny Rogers aptly states, "You got to know when to walk away."
Karen Gordon
